It’s inevitable, you and I will die. As biological beings we have a life cycle that goes from birth, growth, then death and somewhere in the middle, for most but not all, there is procreation that continues the cycle. You cannot stop it, nor can I, although we can in some instances postpone or hasten it. You would think that because it is a natural part of life that we would be prepared and yet most people avoid the topic. Discussing death does not cause it to happen! Perhaps it is the current trend that highlights zombies and the supernatural that causes us to fear death more so now than ever before. The topic makes for great movies to scare the dickens out of folks. Logically, death should be as prepared for as entering any new phase of life: kindergarten, getting a job , buying a car, getting married or purchasing a home. Not having discussions or making preparations for your own death and disposal leaves a great emotional and financial burden on loved ones. My husband once told me that funerals are not for the dead but for the living. It provides comfort and peace of mind allowing for final farewells and closure. I feel it is much more. A funeral should be a celebration of the deceased’s life and personalized to fit who they were. Those in the funeral business conduct most services in generic, solemn prescribed pageantry; kind of a one size fits all method. It does not have to be that way. For example, my mother was a Kobe Bryant fan. We dressed her in a Kobe jersey, and in place of flowers to drape the casket, we used a Lakers blanket. She always said to give her flowers while she was alive because she could not see them when she died, so we gave a rose to each person attending instead of them sending flowers. She ate popcorn every day, so we gave bags of it away as guests left. My husband loved a good joke, so we told some of his favorites in the eulogy and even more at the reception. For my sister’s service, we played her favorite songs and left the sanctuary dancing and singing. Perhaps it was their passing that started my passion for planning my own service. I do not want to leave the celebration of my life up to strangers that did not know me, for I do not want a sad service, if anything, I want it to be festive. While my plans are still in the rough draft stage, I do know I want there to be laughter and joy, and ok, a few tears for I’m sure there will be some who will find it difficult. I definitely don’t want to be dressed in lace and ruffles, that wasn’t me. I do want to hear the voices of young children singing with all their gusto. I want folks to come dressed comfy and in bright colors. In place of a dinner afterwards, I want a BBQ, better yet, make that a party. When people remember me, I want them to say, “Wow, now that was some send off. “ Of course, I will need to put all this in writing and work with a funeral planner to hash out the technicalities, legalities, and financial arrangements. While I plan to live a good while longer, I want to be at peace with my plan and make my passing easy on those I leave behind. I hope you celebrate your life’s end in a way that reflects who you are and what your life meant with a plan that leaves no doubt.
caldwellscorner 